How Adolescence Changes Things
Can Adolescence Help Young People?
Will Adolescence and the global hype surrounding it lead to good things for children and young people – or more judgement and fear?
(I haven’t watched it yet. I will. I expect it to be a brilliant, captivating drama. I love Stephen Graham, in everything!)
Listening to Justin Hancock, of BISH, a sex educator working in schools and presenter of the Culture, Sex, Relationships podcast, I felt affirmed in my discomfort about all the attention the series is getting. He said, more or less:
“I haven’t watched it. I won’t. I can’t be bothered.”
He is tired of moral panic about teenagers and the lack of societal support for work like his, which involves actively listening to and supporting children who face toxic online influences, relationship challenges, etc etc.
Letting Young People Have A Say
Then, Dr Sophie King-Hill spoke out - concerned about Adolescence’ influence on attitudes to young people. About the lack of any visible (audible?) youth response to the show in the media. This is not fair when the furore is about a portrayal of ‘adolescents’ and their world.
Someone who has spoken up about a less serious, perhaps, but related issue is Millie Bobby Brown. She recently called out journalists fixated on her appearance. In the Rest is Entertainment, Richard and Marina hypothesise that adult audiences feel entitled to outrage when child celebrities, particularly girls, grow up. They blame them for the change – the process of becoming an adult. Milly has betrayed them by appearing grown up.
She:
“should not have done these things that makes her look older!”
But, hang on, she is older!
What is your view of adolescence?
Ask yourself – what adjectives would you use to describe ‘puberty’ or ‘adolescence’?
…
Did you have moody, hormonal, defiant, withdrawn, difficult …... ? Any positives?
Adolescence is an essential and exciting time of transition. (Here is a more positive take on it from Dan Siegel!) It is also difficult. Young people need to experience these years, as their change and development, not as a problem period (no pun intended) for parents and teachers and authorities. And adults can probably help them by listening, supporting, trying to understand, not speaking ‘on behalf of’ - and getting out of the way when asked, so children can grow up on their own terms.
My stuff
As adults and parents, we can also help by recognising the sadness and fear we feel about losing influence over and intimate contact with our children. It is a transition for us, as well.
Accepting my set of feelings helps me to refrain from judging theirs, or trying to control them, or blaming children for growing up. We can try to “own our stuff.” Because it’s not fair to blame ‘youth culture’ – even less young people - for societal problems. Misogyny is everywhere, like racism. Yes, it is online, too. And everyone can engage, listen and share responsibility for managing its influence.
(Counselling can sometimes be a useful source of support during transitions like ‘empty nest’ and, yes, ‘adolescence’!)
